Once we finally felt comfortable picking a name for him, my husband suggested Asher which was also one of my favorites even though we had never talked about it and it just felt perfect. Asher is from Genesis and is the name of one of the son’s of Jacob and the ancestor of one of the twelve tribes of Israel and means “happy, blessed” in Hebrew because that is how his parents felt when he was born. What name could be better for this unexpected blessing?! We decided to keep the name Michelle had given him as his middle name to honor her so his name is Asher Ryder De Lucio. Plus it starts with an “A” just like both of our names so he fits right into our little A-Team. This whole time no one in our family knew what was going on because I didn’t want to disappoint them if it didn’t work out for any reason but part of me also wanted to surprise them. So then we got to have a little fun and did facetime with each of them while videotaping their reactions. We would start with just showing our faces and then say “we have a little surprise for you!” and then pan down to Asher in my arms and say “we want to introduce you to your grandson/great-grandson/nephew!” and their reaction were absolutely priceless. We could hear the nurses outside the room listening and giggling, they just loved our story and would spend hours in our room just chatting and would say that we were the reason they came to work that day. They were so happy for us, even before I had let my heart believe it, they cried and celebrated with us.
Because I was a nurse and was willing to continue weaning him off the drugs at home, they let us take him home after only 5 days. This was a miracle considering that most drug exposed babies stay for weeks but I think it helped that he was constantly held in the NICU and only left alone when the nurses kicked me out to get some rest or eat and of course the many months of prayer for this little boy’s protection made all the difference. Those first few weeks at home were very hard for me, between the lack of sleep, the weaning on methadone with withdrawal symptoms and the fear that something bad was going to happen was overwhelming. But God knew that I would struggle and I am so grateful for the people He placed in our lives to help calm my fears during that time- my best friend from childhood is a NICU nurse in Canada and I could send her questions and she would reassure me that he would be ok and that she had seen many babies that were doing much worse (thank you Dana!). And Dr Rosin who I had met in a Facebook group became his pediatrician and was so helpful with all my first-time-mom questions and anxiety (thank you Melissa!).
For more info on Dr Melissa Rosin click HERE
Photo credit Lovejoy Photography
It took 4-5 tough weeks of weaning him at home to get him completely off the drugs and each day was a new adventure during that time, I just never knew if it would be a good day or a bad one. Everyone says time flies by but I lived that first month as a zombie in survival mode and I blinked and he was a month old. I had missed out on the joy that should have come with finally being a mom because satan had completely taken over my thoughts and filled my mind with fear.
Now he’s 9 weeks old and as I write this he’s sleeping on my chest. He has almost doubled his birth weight and I know it won’t be long before he’s too big for that so I’m trying to enjoy every moment. He’s just started smiling and learns something new almost every day. I am so very grateful that God chose us, that we said yes to His plan and that I get to love this precious little boy every day. God has transformed our hearts in a way that is hard to describe but I’m excited for the future of our family, I know that God isn’t done yet…not with Asher’s amazing story or with growing our family. We are ready and open to what God’s plan for us is…bring it on!
Photo credit Smetona Photo
Thank you for reading our adoption story. If God has changed your heart through our journey I would love to hear from you, please leave me a comment!
God Bless You
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.